Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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