Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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