if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
