OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
