I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
