I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
