You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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