Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize