He is such a slut. More and more my type.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
