I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize