i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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