Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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