My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
