so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
