Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
