Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
