This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
