everyone is single if you try hard enough
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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