Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I smell like Dick and happiness
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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