It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize