His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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