On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Come on in and take your pants off
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