how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
so much tequila, so little girl.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
