Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize