Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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