when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
