We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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