butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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