he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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