sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
