So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
