A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
