I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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