Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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