I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
