Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

to do: lose virginity to hamster dance

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(646): View more from New York

so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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(209): View more from California

I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

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(248): View more from Michigan

On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.

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