I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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