She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
