i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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