My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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