why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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