u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
