I wanna bring you to show and tell
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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