try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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