just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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