you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
