8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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