she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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