why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
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