thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
