what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
