For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
