i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
