it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
