you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
