She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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