$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize