Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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