I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
