My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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