Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Enjoy the penises
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize