He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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