You're so nebulous sometimes
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dick very happy bro
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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