I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
