I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
